Shirley - and Kathy - Unchained

A couple of weeks ago, my Mike and I drove up the hill to the cinema and saw Django Unchained. A slave became a freeman and had some real adventures. Today I am feeling some of what Django must have felt when the irons were removed from his wrists and ankles.

Let me back up here and say that Shirley had, over the last couple of weeks, begun to fail - stepped off yet another plateau, as it were. On Monday, I was out of town with my dad and stepmom, as they both needed a ride into Erie for tests and such. Dad had had open heart surgery in November, and Stepmom Margaret needed some tests. Shirley really was failing that day, and I had a number of calls from the care center that had me worried. My Mike and I stopped there after dropping Paul and Margaret at their home, and Shirley was in distress, gasping and very uncomfortable. A tough tableau. Anyway, Tuesday we were in attendance most of the day, Mike and me and Tom for a bit and then we decided to go home again that evening. I sent my Mike home to Erie. At 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday morning I had a call from the care center. Shirley was nearing the end. It took me all of fifteen minutes to jump into my clothes and car, but alas, I was about 5 minutes late. Mommo died in the arms of two 3rd shifters, Annie and Missy, as they held her with Frank Sinatra singing from the CD. She lay peaceful. So I sat with her and waited to make some calls. Eventually my Mike came, then Tom, then Julie. Then mom's friend Ed and our friends Bruce and Carolyn. After I was sure that everyone who wanted to say goodbye had done so, we left and the funeral home came for her.

Mommo had made her last wishes clear years ago, so she was taken to the funeral home and cremated pretty quickly. No funeral, no visitations, no service. Sister-in-law Julie and I picked her up Friday afternoon and took her for a ride around town and she rested here at home that night. On Saturday, we had family come for some eats and visits. We will talk more this week about other details.

So, today was really the first day I've had in a long time to be by myself. I have been craving some time where no one is hovering and no one is concerned and no one is worried. There are so many things I want to think about, and that's hard to do unless you get some alone time. At this point, the only decision I've made is that I won't make any major decisions for at least a few weeks. I need to breathe. As odd as it is, I actually got to sit outside on the step with Butterball in the sunshine - it was at least 60 degrees - and enjoy just putting my face up to the sun. Ahhhh.

So, as the dust settles, I have options to consider. Job? Maybe. Temp? Maybe. Volunteer? Maybe. Travel? Likely. It's good to have options. Thanks to all of you who read this. I don't think, even though Shirley is gone, that I'm quite done with this blog. It's good for me. Peace.