Hot Spots

So, another week has passed, though weekends don't mean what they used to for me - or for mom either, I guess.  I've been trying hard to learn where mom's hot spots are - those situations or conversations or activities that make her angry.  One, I learned last week, was about her housekeeping abilities.  I mentioned to her one day that I wanted to wipe her refrigerator down - that there was something sticky on the shelves.  She immediately went on the defensive and asked me if I thought she had a dirty house.  I responded as calmly as I could that, no, I didn't think her house was dirty, that I just wanted to take a minute to clean up the fridge.  She stormed out of the kitchen, and just as I was finishing the job, she came back in and said, "If you think my house is so filthy, you can just get out of it and STAY OUT!!"  So I did.  Hot spot indeed. 

I found another button not to push yesterday when I brought my laundry over.  I got hers and mine together and in the washer, then as it was in the dryer, she said to me, "I don't know how to say this to you, but I don't think I want you to do your wash here anymore."  She went on to explain that running the washer and dryer added to her ("you know, that thing I get every month") bill.  Then she said, "I feel like I just said something wrong to you."  Having learned to try not to take things personally, I said to her, "You know, you made a good connection there.  Running the appliances does use electricity, and that costs money.  So I can take my laundry to the laundromat from now on."  Then I let it drop.  I won't do my laundry there again unless she is absent from the house.  I don't really mind going to the laundromat, anyway.  Good opportunity to read a book.

So, that's what's been happening this week.  She knows my name now, almost every day, that it's Kathy.  She doesn't connect me with being her daughter, though.  Matter of fact, she keeps trying to fix me up with her youngest son - my brother.  That's Mike and mom below.  Next week, mom's sister is coming for a visit from Florida.  I'm sure I'll have a lot to write about when she's gone!